Tag: Christian parenting

• Meditation on Psalm 111: Balancing Justice & Mercy as Parents

  This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website. Note, the numbering system is slightly different than more modern translations like the NABRE.

  “Acceptable is the man that sheweth mercy and lendeth: he shall order his words with judgement.” (Psalm 111:5)

  There is nothing I desire more than to be acceptable to God–to one day be called His “good and faithful servant”. I want Him to find me, at any moment of my life, faithfully and prudently using the goods and resources He gave me (Luke 12:42). I want to have the wisdom to properly distribute His goods “at the proper time”. I’m not meant to satisfy all my desires or the desires of my children or husband, according to our own plans but rather according to the plans of the master who provided us with the goods. Otherwise, if we abuse His goods by using them contrary to His will, we will be placed among the unfaithful (Luke 12:46).

  This responsibility is always heavy on me. It is the reason I struggle with discernment in balancing leniency towards my children with the discipline they must be raised with. I fear that if I don’t always enforce the consequences of their actions, that they will learn to ignore my commands or become insubordinate to authority in the future, as teenagers or as adults. I fear failing my duty to raise them with habits of self-control, patience, obedience, and so on with the other virtues, so I often err on the side of being too severe.

  Yet, if I meditate on the Lord’s mercy throughout the history of mankind, I can see that He is willing to forgive in moments of repentance. He forgave the Ninevites when they ceased to sin, put on sackcloth, and pleaded for mercy (Jonah 3:6-10). If my children, then, apologize and show signs of sorrow, I should be willing to refrain from enforcing the consequences that would have followed. God does not become inconsistent simply because He does not enforce every threat or does not strike people dead on the first act of sin. Rather, it shows His slowness to anger, His mercy, and His patience. It shows that He truly desires the salvation of the sinner, not their destruction.

  So I, too, should be like God and show mercy. I will remind myself that this mercy is what merits mercy for myself. I am not violating my duties to discipline for being lenient towards my children when they are repentant. Rather, I help fulfill another duty:

  “Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children” (CCC 2223)

  And also:

  “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

  What best example can I provide than that of the imitation of my good Lord? What better instruction can I give than that of balancing mercy and justice? I can model for my children what forgiveness looks like while still keeping them mindful of their duty to obedience. Obviously, obstinacy is punished, but it takes many stubborn refusals in order to be called “obstinate”. God sent prophet after prophet, chance after chance, before He finally decided to punish. I think of the parable of the wicked tenants and the vineyard, where the owner (or God) kept sending servants, eventually even sending His Son–all in hopes that they would eventually repent and change their ways (Matthew 21:33-41).

  In conclusion, if I want to be acceptable to the Lord, I must imitate Him in mercy. I must be like the prophets He sent and make known the will of the Lord to the children by setting clear but simple rules, modeling the obedience to the rules myself, and firmly but gently reminding them of those rules. If they disobey, I must warn of the consequences and if I am obliged to enforce them, I will always be looking for genuine signs of sorrow and repentance–that is, of a change in behavior or attitude. If I see that change, then like God, I will happily forgive and embrace them.

  Oh my God, I am always mindful of Your good commands and of my duties towards the souls that You entrusted to my care. I beg you to give me the wisdom I need to raise them according to Your discipline. Help me be just like You are but also as merciful as You are. I trust You will guide me in my efforts and not leave me to raise these souls on my own.

  Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me so I may be as tender as you are. Praise be to God forever. Amen.

  2026.03.21

• The Cross of Parenthood is my Path to Sanctity

  “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” (1 Corinthians 11:30)

  I thought my cross would come from outside the home. I waited for the suffering that seemed would be placed on me in some great and honorable way, like the martyrs and saints we remember. I expected it to come from outside of the home.

  But God had higher thoughts than that. He knew my weaknesses. He knew my pride. He knew the perfect way to destroy all vice within me, the hidden sinful thoughts that were disguised as virtues. He also knew how to use my strengths and my natural dispositions. He didn’t give me a great public image to use for preaching to the masses. He didn’t send me on a worldwide mission to feed the hungry or tend the sick. He didn’t introduce me to the convents and fill me with a wondrous attraction to a life as a celibate religious in my youth.

  He sent me parenthood.

  Parenthood stripped back the covers and revealed the ugliness of my vices–my impatience, my pride, my vanity, my intemperance–and began to root them out one by one.

  Parenthood revealed the value and attraction in the virtues and propelled me to learn discipline, prudence, perseverance, justice, and so on.

  Parenthood forced me to overcome my useless concerns, worries, and anxieties and helped me grow comfortable with pain, discomfort, and uncertainty.

  Parenthood showed me the necessity of my faith.

  By showing me the pitiful state of my soul, I realized the need I had of God and of His Holy Church to overcome my situation before it was too late. I found and desired prayer, the Sacraments, and study. I began to hate my vices and sought to destroy them within myself while growing in mercy and patience with those who still live out those vices.

  Yet, even as this truth is revealed to me, I continue to fight the wonderful cross placed on me. I feel pained at the fact that I always struggle with the same weaknesses, repeat the same venial sins, and face the same temptations. Temptations of anger. Temptations of desperation. Temptations of control and over-zealousness. I cry in confusion, wanting to be the perfect mother to my children and treat them as the children of God sent to me, always wondering why I can’t overcome these obstacles.

  It is these exact pains, however, that are the weaknesses I should bear. These pains and shames are the daily humiliation I need to remain humble at God’s feet and continue begging for His graces. The same failures prevent me from wagging my finger or shaking my head at other parents. They keep me wary of this dangerous life and help me remain vigilant so I can continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

  Jesus commanded us to be perfect as our Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48), and this need to work towards perfection will persist for the rest of my life. There will always be temptations to overcome, so I must not allow myself to grow discouraged at my own failures or signs of temptations. These are, rather, the very weaknesses I must boast about. As I overcome each one, I can say with confidence that it was not me who overcame them, but God. Without His graces and mercy, I would not be able to bear this cross of parenthood. Even if I fall, as Christ did three times, I can pick it back up and persevere until the end.

  I do not need to wait for some glorious martyrdom. I can die to God daily. I do not need to wait for some great suffering or sacrifice. I can embrace the daily, small sufferings and sacrifices of parenthood. I do not need to pursue virtues and good works outside the home. I can grow in those virtues and perform those good works in the home, for my children and through my parenting.

  Oh my God, please help me in this work. Sometimes, I can barely focus on keeping the cross upon my shoulders and it takes my whole energy to take one mere step. Let me focus on nothing but that step. Let me not focus on the long road ahead, so I may not despair at how much I have to go. Sometimes I feel like I am on the brink of falling over. Hold me up during those moments and send me a Simon to bear it with me–and give me the humility to accept his help!

  I desire nothing other than to serve You well. Give me the graces of Holy Matrimony to raise these children you sent me according to Your will. Help me to continue to grow in holiness and love of You through them and through this work. Amen.

  2026.03.18