LPC Meditations

Sharing the fruits of contemplation and study for the glory of God

Tag: jesus

  • Meditating on Death to Produce Fruit Pleasing to God

    From St. Alphonsus’ Preparation for Death, available on Saints’ Books

    Consideration 1, Third Point: Description of one who has Departed this Life

    “My brother, in this description of death, thou seest thyself, and that, which one day thou wilt be, ” Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” Reflect, for in a few years, nay, perhaps in a few months, and even days, thou wilt become a mass of corruption and worms.”

    The certainty of death doesn’t seem so threatening initially, especially because I am still so young. Death feels far away and seems it will happen in my old age, when my hair is white, my skin wrinkly, and my body bent over. I picture myself resting on a bed, surrounded by family and a priest, ready to offer me my last sacraments.

    But I have absolutely no guarantee of this ideal scenario. I know that family, friends, and acquaintances have died suddenly and unexpectedly. One day, they were healthy and with the expectation of living for decades more, and the next they were in the hospital from a sudden attack of a hidden infirmity that took their life in a matter of hours. I see it on the news all the time as well. I hear of people caught in the middle of a shooting or a crash on the freeway or an accident at work–people who are often just as young as I am.

    Knowing this uncertainty, I should be careful not to wave off my approaching death and assume I will have time to make amends with God. I should treat each day as if it will be the last chance I have to show my repentance to God and use each moment to turn my desires back to Him, making sure my every intention is to obey and abandon my plans to His will.

    St. Alphonsus continues:

    “But perhaps, my brother, thou mightst with reason fear, lest thou shouldst be like that barren fig-tree, concerning which our blessed Lord said, ” Behold these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig-tree, and find none.” (S. Luke xiii.- 7.) Take care, remarks S. Bernard, for the Lord does not require flowers only, but seeks for fruit also ; that is to say, not only good desires and resolutions, but also good works. Therefore, take care to make good use of the time which God in His mercy grants to you ; do not wait until ” time shall be no longer” to desire to do good when it shall be said unto you : ” Time shall be no longer, depart.”

    Indeed, I should take care and aim for real results in my work because God doesn’t just look for good feelings and sentiments. He looks for actual change in my behavior, thoughts, and decisions. He looks for real results and perseverance in my resolutions, not just good wishes and imaginations. It is scary to think that I could go my whole life imagining that I am saved when all I have had are some pleasant emotions and motivation but none of the effects of those graces. How terrifying to be told “depart” by the God whom I thought I was serving this whole time.

    Oh my Lord, do not let me fall into this illusion. Do not let me become self-satisfied and complacent in my spiritual growth. Continue to reveal my weaknesses to me. Show me where I am still not producing fruits or where I am producing the bad fruits that you despise. I desire for You to take pleasure in the fruits I do produce, but I cannot do this of my own accord. I am too ignorant to know what I ought to do and even if I do know, I am often too weak to act as I ought.

    I ask that You help me this day to see your commands in all I do and to see my vocation as a wife, as a mother to young children, and as a homemaker as the means by which I fulfill those commands. Even as I tend to basic tasks–washing dishes, answering emails, and so on–or interact with others in my day–on my drives, my appointments, and so on–I wish to use these opportunities as ways to be pleasant and calm, never anxious about how things are to turn out or how they may go wrong. Help me reject all thoughts of bitterness, anger, frustration, distraction, and anything else that might displease You in the slightest. Help me embrace all the sufferings You send my way today and treat every second as if it might be my last, so when it is finally time, I may be prepared to face You.

    St. Dominic, pray for me. Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 119: Recognition of my own ignorance and weakness

    131 I sigh with open mouth,

    yearning for your commandments.

    My heart aches with frustration at my inability to properly meditate on God’s word or will. It feels that my mind is blocked and I can’t make sense of any of the thoughts in my mind. All I have is a burning desire to know what God wants me to do and how I should behave today. I am afraid of starting my day because I don’t want to face the same temptations and repeat the same mistakes I have before.

    How can I be entrusted with the education of my own children if I seem to be so ignorant and incapable? All I can think of is how many times before I have resolved to live a simple, prayerful day, where I am detached from material goods and show nothing but patience and tenderness towards my family. Yet I feel like all I find within myself is vexation, gluttony, bitterness, and distraction.

    How can I approach the Lord with so much insult and ingratitude?

    143 Though distress and anguish come upon me,

    your commandments are my delight.

    144 Your testimonies are forever righteous;

    give me understanding that I may live.

    145 I call with all my heart, O LORD;

    answer me that I may keep your statutes.

    146 I call to you to save me

    that I may observe your testimonies.

    I must comfort my soul with the hope that God gives. I must have confidence in God’s mercy. I must not allow my sorrow and tears at my own failures to carry me so far that I despair, as Judas did. Peter cried bitter tears at his betrayal of Christ, yet also cried out that he loved Christ more than any of the other apostles (John 21:15-17).

    God knows I desire to do His will. He knows I desire to live out every second of my day faithfully. He knows my ignorance and weakness. It’s often me that forgets this and begins to rely on my own judgement. This sorrow at my inability to reason or fulfill my resolutions is my reminder of this fact. I was always this incapable but God had carried me through my weakness, and I gave credit to myself instead. I didn’t stop to thank Him for the graces He gave me but rather puffed myself up with the illusion that it was my intelligence, my virtues, and my work all along. I wanted the praise when it didn’t belong to me.

    75 I know, LORD, that your judgments are righteous;

    though you afflict me, you are faithful.

    76 May your mercy comfort me

    in accord with your promise to your servant.

    77 Show me compassion that I may live,

    for your law is my delight.

    I accept, Lord, my pain and ask that you take pity on me so that I can live and not fall into sin. I accept the humiliation and recognize it as your merciful work, so that I may give praise to You, who is entitled to it. I ask that although I feel completely incapable at the moment, that You do not abandon me but rather remain with me today. As I begin taking on my duties, I ask that you continue to work through me so I can complete all my tasks in their proper time, without losing my peace or my faith in You. Though I feel like I can’t form even one coherent thought or envision myself completing one resolution, I will move forward with faith and a will to abandon myself to You and Your help. I trust you will not leave me to my own devices. Be my guide and my comfort.

    Glory be to You forever. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 110: Trusting that God Will Provide the Food I Need

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website.

    “He hath given food to them that fear Him” (Psalm 110:5)

    In the Our Father, we pray that God gives us the bread that we need, and we do it daily because we continuously need nourishment for our bodies to survive. Why do we ask, though, or why do we need to fear Him if He grants it to all anyways:

    “…for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45)

    This universal goodness should make me take comfort in the mercy of God, since He will not deprive me of what I need. If I truly have my eyes on His kingdom alone, that is that I think nothing other than “what is my duty to God today”, then the answers and resources will be made available to me.

    In those moments where I slip into worry and wonder “How will I respond when this happens”, then I must remind myself that God will give me the food I need. He will give food to my soul, by feeding it with His graces and helping me overcome my temptations. My fear of Him and of His perfect judgement drives me to fulfill His commands as perfectly as I can but knowledge of His mercy and generosity comforts me in the moments I am most vulnerable.

    Lord, I do fear You and Your justice, so I ask for my food today. I ask for the strength I need to discipline my children with patience and firmness, to pray with devotion and to work and plan without anxiety. I fear my own weaknesses, so I turn to You and hold out my hands in expectation. You will answer my prayer. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death is Essential

    I want to live like a saint. I want to live for Christ alone and not seek the pleasures of this life–as innocent as they may be–but rather see them as means to get to Christ. I read how the saints prefer to die a thousand deaths and relive thousands of sufferings or even an eternity of purgatory rather than offend God once or stand in His presence with one sin on their soul–not even one blemish.

    I find myself shuddering at these thoughts. I can barely picture myself enduring ONE death, much less a thousand painful ones. This fear of suffering signals to me that I am nowhere near the level of sanctity I long to have. I am too attached to the comforts and pleasures of this world, so I am pained at the mere THOUGHT of losing them. This means I must do something to change the way I view the joys of this world and put them in their proper place. I will begin to meditate on death more vividly than before, and I will use St. Alphonsus Liguori’s Preparation for Death to do so, at least as a starting point.

    When I begin to desire a cup of warm coffee, I will picture my cold body, pale and spotted blue. What good would that warmth do then?

    When I begin to excite at the thought of a nice restaurant meal, I will picture my lifeless tongue and open mouth in my coffin. What good would the flavors and texture of that dish do then?

    When I begin to worry about my appearance to others or how my personality or thoughts might displease them or repel them from me, I will picture how they, too, will be laid stiff in a coffin. What good would their opinion of me be then?

    I am put off by thinking such things and it feels grim to always be bringing death to mind but it must be done. As St. Alphonsus Liguori says, we are rushing to death–every breath brings us closer to that final day. How can I possibly let myself forget this? I may not be able to have a skull with me to always look at, as the Benedictines do, but I can hold the thought in my mind. I can use my approaching death as a reminder to keep my desires in check, to keep my priorities straight, and to continue working out my salvation in fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

    Ultimately, my goal is to become holy. I do not want to be depressed thinking about dead bodies all the time. Our Lord Jesus wept at the death of His friend Lazarus and He Himself destroyed death by His resurrection. I want to desire God above all things, for His own sake, but to do this, I need to first overcome the illusions I have–the false idea I will live forever. I need to shatter the image as the “main character” that will never be killed off and make myself realize that I am like everyone else and will one day be on my own death bed. It is sobering, but it is necessary. My day of judgement is coming, but I will not feel that as real unless I first understand that I will die. So, I pray with David:

    “Lord, let me know my end, and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is!” (Psalm 39:4)

  • Meditation on Psalm 100: Turning Disgust of Sin to Love of the Sinner

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website. Note, the numbering system is slightly different than more modern translations like the NABRE.

    100:5 The man that in private detracted his neighbour, him did I persecute. With him that had a proud eye, and an unsatiable heart, I would not eat.

    100:6. My eyes were upon the faithful of the earth, to sit with me: the man that walked in the perfect way, he served me.

    100:7. He that worketh pride shall not dwell in the midst of my house: he that speaketh unjust things did not prosper before my eyes.

    100:8. In the morning I put to death all the wicked of the land: that I might cut off all the workers of iniquity from the city of the Lord.

    David, as king, was able to create a kingdom that was holy and pleasing to God. He did this by using his power to eliminate all the evil from those within his presence to those working evil amongst the people. He went as far as to put them to death. This was his zeal. This was his refusal to negotiate or compromise with sin.

    Such behavior seems off-putting and “problematic” to a more modern mind. It makes sense–we live in a free-thinking society and a country that permits freedom of religion. We must learn to live alongside those who disagree with us and even think us evil, or vice versa (that we think their religion or philosophy or political beliefs evil).

    How, then, are we meant to have this same zeal of hatred to sin, like David? How are we meant to show our utter hatred for sin and refusal to compromise while also living peacefully alongside our erring and wayward neighbors? Are we meant to isolate ourselves into our own Christian communities, and so keep our eyes “upon the faitfhul of the earth”? Are we meant to ignore those that “speaketh unjust things” and refuse to eat with those that have a “proud eye” and an “insatiable heart”?

    This cannot be, otherwise we would end up talking to nobody–all of us are sinners. And how are we meant to evangelize if we cannot even look at those who reject our faith? I can imitate David in his zeal by “putting to death” the sin which abids within me. As Christ says:

    “…remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5)

    We are still meant to correct our neighbor and eliminate that sin from his soul. We are meant to have a burning hatred for the vices and disgust for the corruption that people engage in. It is NORMAL to be put off by immodest clothing and speech, to frown at the casual blaspheming of the Lord’s name, and the drunkedness of our neighbors. It is NORMAL to want to look away from them and to separate myself from them, because if we live carefully according to the teachings of the Church, our consciences will groan at the sins of others. The danger is in letting that pain and anger be directed at the soul that is engaged in that sin.

    I can easily reiterate and defend the teachings of Christ’s Church and diligently study to grow in that knowledge. I can say with confidence that I am not in mortal sin and that I am diligently examining my own conscience so as not to do one thing, not agree to one thought, that is displeasing to God. I have already removed that log from my eye, which is why I can recognize my faults, my vices, and my venial sins that I labor tearfully to remove from myself. I am disgusted by sin within myself, so of course I will be disgusted by sin in others. There is no shame in that but rather implies that I am heading in the right direction

    My challenge is in restraining the disgust and redirecting it to where it belongs. I must never allow my revulsion to sinful behavior be directed at the sinner. If I see someone who seems to be sinning or living in vice, I must not allow my own pride to puff up in knowing or suspecting that I live a more devout life or am more advanced than they are. On the contrary, it means I have a duty to offer up my prayers for that soul–reminding myself that they were also created in God’s image. They were created for the purpose of serving Him and being happy with Him forever in heaven–not just me. They were not created so that I may look holy in contrast to them.

    That is my resolution and I will fulfill it by doing the following whenever I see anyone speaking, acting, dressing, or behaving in any form that I suspect might be sinful:

    • Offer up a Hail Mary for them
    • Pray for graces for that particlar individual, that they may become aware of their sin and feel contrition for it
    • Pray like St. Catherine “Today it is your turn, tomorrow it is mine, unless Divine Providence preserves me”.
    • Pray that my pride remains in check and that my hatred for sin is never directed at the soul in sin, that my love and tenderness for them may be like Christ who loves all and died for all.

    Lord, I offer up these resolutions to You. Help me to live up to them and not only think about them. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 44

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website.

    The Douay Rheims version is off by 1 chapter compared to more modern translations. Ex: Chapter 44 in the DR Bible is Chapter 45 in the NABRE version.

    “Hearken, O daughter, and see, and incline thy ear: and forget thy people and thy father’s house. And the king shall greatly desire thy beauty; for he is the Lord thy God, and him they shall adore” (Psalms 44:11)

    Meditation:

    How do I forget my people? How should I forget my father’s house? What does it mean by “my people” and “father’s house”? Augustine1 reads this “father” as “the devil” and “people” as unbelievers, gentiles or “the people of Babylon”. Before we are baptized, we are these unbelievers and gentiles, then were are reborn in baptism, which transforms us into the children of God and make us beautiful, worthy to look at by Him. Perhaps this is why only those who are baptized or clothed in the wedding garments are allowed to enter “the wedding feast” i.e. heaven.

    We hear Jesus in the gospel of Matthew share the parable of the guest who was cast back out when the king saw he had no wedding garments on (Matthew 22:11). So, if we desire to be worthy to be beheld by God and stay in His presence, then we must clothe ourselves properly, not only by receiving our baptism but also by casting off of ourselves our works of darkness, as St. Paul says to the Romans, and putting “on the armor of light” (Romans 13:12). 

    Resolution:

    I will examine my behavior throughout the day and ask myself, am I behaving in a way that would be fitting for a Christian? Would God be pleased with my thoughts or actions? 

    Prayer:

    Lord, do not cast me out of Your presence due to my weakness and poverty. I do not know how to behave and often find myself too weak to do the good things I want. Provide me with the wedding garments that I need to be in Your Presence–give me the strength I need to fulfill my duties now and grant me the graces to become ever more pleasing to You, that You may desire my beauty and gather me to Yourself. Amen. 

    1. St. Augustine of Hippo. “Exposition on Psalm 45.” New Advent. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1801045.htm ↩︎

  • Meditation on Psalm 43

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website

    11. Thou hast made us turn our back to our enemies: and they that hated us plundered for themselves. 12 Thou hast given us up like sheep to be eaten: thou hast scattered us among the nations. 13 Thou hast sold thy people for no price: and there was no reckoning in the exchange of them. 14 Thou hast made us a reproach to our neighbours, a scoff and derision to them that are round about us. 15 Thou hast made us a byword among the Gentiles: a shaking of the head among the people. 16 All the day long my shame is before me: and the confusion of my face hath covered me. 17 At the voice of him that reproacheth and detracteth me: at the face of the enemy and persecutor. And our heart hath not turned back: neither hast thou turned aside our steps from thy way. 20. For thou hast humbled us in the place of affliction: and the shadow of death hath covered us. 21 If we have forgotten the name of our God, and if we have spread forth our hands to a strange god: 22 Shall not God search out these things: for he knoweth the secrets of the heart. Because for thy sake we are killed all the day long: we are counted as sheep for the slaughter. 23 Arise, why sleepest thou, O Lord? arise, and cast us not off to the end. 24.Why turnest thou thy face away? and forgettest our want and our trouble? 25 For our soul is humbled down to the dust: our belly cleaveth to the earth. 26. Arise, O Lord, help us and redeem us for thy name’s sake.

    It is hard for me to relate to these feelings of desperation that David expresses to God. He says that all day his shame is before him, that “the shadow of death” covers him, and that his people are “counted as sheep for the slaughter”. It is very difficult to feel this persecution, since even when St. Augustine interprets it, it applies to the Church’s martyrs. I live in the midst of comforts and inalienable rights, with nobody to pursue me and put me to death. The only exception, however, is the devil. Yet, I feel silly looking for “the devil” as the cause of any trouble, yet there can’t be another source for the temptations that enter my soul. Who else other than the devil and his minions are seeking to cause me to sin and forsake God in my actions?

    I do not desire to sin. I do not desire to offend God. Yet, I find myself at war within myself, as St. Paul said, doing that which I don’t want; and not doing that which I do want to do. I want to kneel, pray and meditate yet am plagued with a million different distractions. I want to greet my children joyfully and tenderly, yet I get bothered and irritated at their childishness and misbehavior. I want to move about my day with peace, trusting in God with even small matters, yet I constantly fall into anxious thoughts, troubled with any decision. I end the day, exhausted and often ashamed– feeling that I failed in most or all my resolutions and that I can’t face God.

    What am I supposed to present Him with? What am I supposed to show Him what I did with the graces that He gave me? I can take advantage of this sorrow. Instead of granting a victory to the devil, by succumbing to my shame, I will offer it to God. I can recognize how my soul “is humbled down to the dust”, as David says, and can plead to God to help me rise above my weaknesses. I can trust that He will do so not for my sake, since there is nothing inherently good about me, but for His sake and glory. He created me for Him, so for that end, I will pray. I will not give in to the shame and humiliation of my failures in my resolutions, but will choose to trust in the mercy of God. I will see myself as the tax collector, beating his chest and accusing himself. 

    God, do not abandon me to my enemies who desire to see me fall in temptation and submit to despair over my weakness. Rather, give me the grace to persevere and embrace my weakness–for your sake.