LPC Meditations

Sharing the fruits of contemplation and study for the glory of God

Tag: psalms

  • Purging Hidden and Selfish Desires from Real Duties

    If I am not careful, I make decisions out of a hidden motivation to satisfy my own desires. These secret motives hide so easily because they are mixed in with real duties I have. If my daughter misbehaves or screams, I might scold her out of fear that the neighbors will become upset rather than my duty to help her regain control of her emotions and follow the rules of the household. If I see crumbs on the floor or my coffee spills under the toaster oven on the kitchen counter, I stop all I do to clean it up out of my urge to feel that things are clean rather than my duty to maintain order and structure in my house.

    These hidden fears and desires become problematic when I forget the real principle and motivation of all that I do, which is my duty to serve and love God above all things. This forgetfulness leaves a void which is quickly filled in by my own plans and impulses, which often change based off my emotions. Then, when those plans and impulses are interrupted, I am thrown into confusion, anger, and frustration, which in turn often leads to sin or a disturbed conscience and ruined peace.

    What instability and chaos! What a miserable state to be in!

    Oh my God, please do not forget me like I often forget You. Please keep me mindful of You all the day. Help me reject all idle, useless, and dangerous thoughts, desires, and fears. Help me purge my mind, my conscience, my will, and my heart of anything that is displeasing to You and fill it instead with a desire to serve You. If I am empty of myself, then I am always ready to act and move to Your will. If I destroy my self love–my wishes, my dreams, my desires–then there will be nothing holding me back from doing what is best at every second of the day.

    I will aim to keep my mind empty of any plans, other than what presents itself as the immediate need of that moment. I will wave away all idle thoughts and random memories that distract me from You. I will be vigilant for any selfish motive in my plans and will aim to root it out by dropping that plan, or if it is too late, by accepting that humiliation and returning my mind to You. I pray with David so I can be the servant always ready to act:

    “Yes, like the eyes of servants

    on the hand of their masters,

    Like the eyes of a maid

    on the hand of her mistress,

    So our eyes are on the LORD our God” (Psalm 123:2, USCCB)

    Blessed Mother Mary, who obeyed God at all moments of your life, pray for me. St. Joseph, who obeyed silently, pray for me. God, have mercy on me. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 119: Recognition of my own ignorance and weakness

    131 I sigh with open mouth,

    yearning for your commandments.

    My heart aches with frustration at my inability to properly meditate on God’s word or will. It feels that my mind is blocked and I can’t make sense of any of the thoughts in my mind. All I have is a burning desire to know what God wants me to do and how I should behave today. I am afraid of starting my day because I don’t want to face the same temptations and repeat the same mistakes I have before.

    How can I be entrusted with the education of my own children if I seem to be so ignorant and incapable? All I can think of is how many times before I have resolved to live a simple, prayerful day, where I am detached from material goods and show nothing but patience and tenderness towards my family. Yet I feel like all I find within myself is vexation, gluttony, bitterness, and distraction.

    How can I approach the Lord with so much insult and ingratitude?

    143 Though distress and anguish come upon me,

    your commandments are my delight.

    144 Your testimonies are forever righteous;

    give me understanding that I may live.

    145 I call with all my heart, O LORD;

    answer me that I may keep your statutes.

    146 I call to you to save me

    that I may observe your testimonies.

    I must comfort my soul with the hope that God gives. I must have confidence in God’s mercy. I must not allow my sorrow and tears at my own failures to carry me so far that I despair, as Judas did. Peter cried bitter tears at his betrayal of Christ, yet also cried out that he loved Christ more than any of the other apostles (John 21:15-17).

    God knows I desire to do His will. He knows I desire to live out every second of my day faithfully. He knows my ignorance and weakness. It’s often me that forgets this and begins to rely on my own judgement. This sorrow at my inability to reason or fulfill my resolutions is my reminder of this fact. I was always this incapable but God had carried me through my weakness, and I gave credit to myself instead. I didn’t stop to thank Him for the graces He gave me but rather puffed myself up with the illusion that it was my intelligence, my virtues, and my work all along. I wanted the praise when it didn’t belong to me.

    75 I know, LORD, that your judgments are righteous;

    though you afflict me, you are faithful.

    76 May your mercy comfort me

    in accord with your promise to your servant.

    77 Show me compassion that I may live,

    for your law is my delight.

    I accept, Lord, my pain and ask that you take pity on me so that I can live and not fall into sin. I accept the humiliation and recognize it as your merciful work, so that I may give praise to You, who is entitled to it. I ask that although I feel completely incapable at the moment, that You do not abandon me but rather remain with me today. As I begin taking on my duties, I ask that you continue to work through me so I can complete all my tasks in their proper time, without losing my peace or my faith in You. Though I feel like I can’t form even one coherent thought or envision myself completing one resolution, I will move forward with faith and a will to abandon myself to You and Your help. I trust you will not leave me to my own devices. Be my guide and my comfort.

    Glory be to You forever. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 112: Recognizing and Rejecting Sinful Thoughts

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website. Note, the numbering system is slightly different than more modern translations like the NABRE.

    “112: 5 Who is as the Lord our God, who dwelleth on high:

    112:6. and looketh down on the low things in heaven and in earth?

    112:7. Raising up the needy from the earth, and lifting up the poor out of the dunghill:

    112:8. That he may place him with princes, with the princes of his people.”

    It seems that almost every moment I am fighting off some ugly temptation or imagination from my mind. I can see an advertisement, a person walking down the street, a post on social media–really anything that I set my eye on–and my first temptation is one of scoffing, judgement, or ridicule. I feel like I’m waving off flies constantly, trying not to pay attention to these uncharitable or prideful thoughts. If I spend more than one second on these thoughts or indulge in them in any way, I am struck with shame at myself.

    “Why can’t I have better thoughts? Why can’t I think of God continuously and pray to Him always? Or pray to Him on behalf of others? Why do I, instead, get pleasure out of the base lifestyle of others–in the thought that I am better or holier than them? I should be sorrowful for them and the offense they bring God.”

    At the very least, I can take this humiliating fact of myself and offer that to God. I can recognize that I am an “unprofitable servant” and can barely escape the temptations that continuously swarm my mind. I can recognize that I am nowhere near the level of sanctity that I desire to be. I can take comfort in knowing that the disgust I feel towards these thoughts is a sign I reject them.

    Lord, see the miserable condition I am in and take pity. See that I do not consent to my temptations and that I immediately repent whenever I do. Please give me an overflowing love and tenderness for the souls I see, especially those that seem to be in sin. Give me empathy for them, so that I may pray for them earnestly and desire their salvation as much as You desire it. Lift my thoughts out of this earth–with its dunghills–and up towards higher, better things, so that as you look down on me, I may offer you only pleasing thoughts, words, and actions. Praise be to You for Your patience towards me. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 111: Balancing Justice & Mercy as Parents

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website. Note, the numbering system is slightly different than more modern translations like the NABRE.

    “Acceptable is the man that sheweth mercy and lendeth: he shall order his words with judgement.” (Psalm 111:5)

    There is nothing I desire more than to be acceptable to God–to one day be called His “good and faithful servant”. I want Him to find me, at any moment of my life, faithfully and prudently using the goods and resources He gave me (Luke 12:42). I want to have the wisdom to properly distribute His goods “at the proper time”. I’m not meant to satisfy all my desires or the desires of my children or husband, according to our own plans but rather according to the plans of the master who provided us with the goods. Otherwise, if we abuse His goods by using them contrary to His will, we will be placed among the unfaithful (Luke 12:46).

    This responsibility is always heavy on me. It is the reason I struggle with discernment in balancing leniency towards my children with the discipline they must be raised with. I fear that if I don’t always enforce the consequences of their actions, that they will learn to ignore my commands or become insubordinate to authority in the future, as teenagers or as adults. I fear failing my duty to raise them with habits of self-control, patience, obedience, and so on with the other virtues, so I often err on the side of being too severe.

    Yet, if I meditate on the Lord’s mercy throughout the history of mankind, I can see that He is willing to forgive in moments of repentance. He forgave the Ninevites when they ceased to sin, put on sackcloth, and pleaded for mercy (Jonah 3:6-10). If my children, then, apologize and show signs of sorrow, I should be willing to refrain from enforcing the consequences that would have followed. God does not become inconsistent simply because He does not enforce every threat or does not strike people dead on the first act of sin. Rather, it shows His slowness to anger, His mercy, and His patience. It shows that He truly desires the salvation of the sinner, not their destruction.

    So I, too, should be like God and show mercy. I will remind myself that this mercy is what merits mercy for myself. I am not violating my duties to discipline for being lenient towards my children when they are repentant. Rather, I help fulfill another duty:

    “Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children” (CCC 2223)

    And also:

    “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

    What best example can I provide than that of the imitation of my good Lord? What better instruction can I give than that of balancing mercy and justice? I can model for my children what forgiveness looks like while still keeping them mindful of their duty to obedience. Obviously, obstinacy is punished, but it takes many stubborn refusals in order to be called “obstinate”. God sent prophet after prophet, chance after chance, before He finally decided to punish. I think of the parable of the wicked tenants and the vineyard, where the owner (or God) kept sending servants, eventually even sending His Son–all in hopes that they would eventually repent and change their ways (Matthew 21:33-41).

    In conclusion, if I want to be acceptable to the Lord, I must imitate Him in mercy. I must be like the prophets He sent and make known the will of the Lord to the children by setting clear but simple rules, modeling the obedience to the rules myself, and firmly but gently reminding them of those rules. If they disobey, I must warn of the consequences and if I am obliged to enforce them, I will always be looking for genuine signs of sorrow and repentance–that is, of a change in behavior or attitude. If I see that change, then like God, I will happily forgive and embrace them.

    Oh my God, I am always mindful of Your good commands and of my duties towards the souls that You entrusted to my care. I beg you to give me the wisdom I need to raise them according to Your discipline. Help me be just like You are but also as merciful as You are. I trust You will guide me in my efforts and not leave me to raise these souls on my own.

    Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me so I may be as tender as you are. Praise be to God forever. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 100: Turning Disgust of Sin to Love of the Sinner

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website. Note, the numbering system is slightly different than more modern translations like the NABRE.

    100:5 The man that in private detracted his neighbour, him did I persecute. With him that had a proud eye, and an unsatiable heart, I would not eat.

    100:6. My eyes were upon the faithful of the earth, to sit with me: the man that walked in the perfect way, he served me.

    100:7. He that worketh pride shall not dwell in the midst of my house: he that speaketh unjust things did not prosper before my eyes.

    100:8. In the morning I put to death all the wicked of the land: that I might cut off all the workers of iniquity from the city of the Lord.

    David, as king, was able to create a kingdom that was holy and pleasing to God. He did this by using his power to eliminate all the evil from those within his presence to those working evil amongst the people. He went as far as to put them to death. This was his zeal. This was his refusal to negotiate or compromise with sin.

    Such behavior seems off-putting and “problematic” to a more modern mind. It makes sense–we live in a free-thinking society and a country that permits freedom of religion. We must learn to live alongside those who disagree with us and even think us evil, or vice versa (that we think their religion or philosophy or political beliefs evil).

    How, then, are we meant to have this same zeal of hatred to sin, like David? How are we meant to show our utter hatred for sin and refusal to compromise while also living peacefully alongside our erring and wayward neighbors? Are we meant to isolate ourselves into our own Christian communities, and so keep our eyes “upon the faitfhul of the earth”? Are we meant to ignore those that “speaketh unjust things” and refuse to eat with those that have a “proud eye” and an “insatiable heart”?

    This cannot be, otherwise we would end up talking to nobody–all of us are sinners. And how are we meant to evangelize if we cannot even look at those who reject our faith? I can imitate David in his zeal by “putting to death” the sin which abids within me. As Christ says:

    “…remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5)

    We are still meant to correct our neighbor and eliminate that sin from his soul. We are meant to have a burning hatred for the vices and disgust for the corruption that people engage in. It is NORMAL to be put off by immodest clothing and speech, to frown at the casual blaspheming of the Lord’s name, and the drunkedness of our neighbors. It is NORMAL to want to look away from them and to separate myself from them, because if we live carefully according to the teachings of the Church, our consciences will groan at the sins of others. The danger is in letting that pain and anger be directed at the soul that is engaged in that sin.

    I can easily reiterate and defend the teachings of Christ’s Church and diligently study to grow in that knowledge. I can say with confidence that I am not in mortal sin and that I am diligently examining my own conscience so as not to do one thing, not agree to one thought, that is displeasing to God. I have already removed that log from my eye, which is why I can recognize my faults, my vices, and my venial sins that I labor tearfully to remove from myself. I am disgusted by sin within myself, so of course I will be disgusted by sin in others. There is no shame in that but rather implies that I am heading in the right direction

    My challenge is in restraining the disgust and redirecting it to where it belongs. I must never allow my revulsion to sinful behavior be directed at the sinner. If I see someone who seems to be sinning or living in vice, I must not allow my own pride to puff up in knowing or suspecting that I live a more devout life or am more advanced than they are. On the contrary, it means I have a duty to offer up my prayers for that soul–reminding myself that they were also created in God’s image. They were created for the purpose of serving Him and being happy with Him forever in heaven–not just me. They were not created so that I may look holy in contrast to them.

    That is my resolution and I will fulfill it by doing the following whenever I see anyone speaking, acting, dressing, or behaving in any form that I suspect might be sinful:

    • Offer up a Hail Mary for them
    • Pray for graces for that particlar individual, that they may become aware of their sin and feel contrition for it
    • Pray like St. Catherine “Today it is your turn, tomorrow it is mine, unless Divine Providence preserves me”.
    • Pray that my pride remains in check and that my hatred for sin is never directed at the soul in sin, that my love and tenderness for them may be like Christ who loves all and died for all.

    Lord, I offer up these resolutions to You. Help me to live up to them and not only think about them. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 44

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website.

    The Douay Rheims version is off by 1 chapter compared to more modern translations. Ex: Chapter 44 in the DR Bible is Chapter 45 in the NABRE version.

    “Hearken, O daughter, and see, and incline thy ear: and forget thy people and thy father’s house. And the king shall greatly desire thy beauty; for he is the Lord thy God, and him they shall adore” (Psalms 44:11)

    Meditation:

    How do I forget my people? How should I forget my father’s house? What does it mean by “my people” and “father’s house”? Augustine1 reads this “father” as “the devil” and “people” as unbelievers, gentiles or “the people of Babylon”. Before we are baptized, we are these unbelievers and gentiles, then were are reborn in baptism, which transforms us into the children of God and make us beautiful, worthy to look at by Him. Perhaps this is why only those who are baptized or clothed in the wedding garments are allowed to enter “the wedding feast” i.e. heaven.

    We hear Jesus in the gospel of Matthew share the parable of the guest who was cast back out when the king saw he had no wedding garments on (Matthew 22:11). So, if we desire to be worthy to be beheld by God and stay in His presence, then we must clothe ourselves properly, not only by receiving our baptism but also by casting off of ourselves our works of darkness, as St. Paul says to the Romans, and putting “on the armor of light” (Romans 13:12). 

    Resolution:

    I will examine my behavior throughout the day and ask myself, am I behaving in a way that would be fitting for a Christian? Would God be pleased with my thoughts or actions? 

    Prayer:

    Lord, do not cast me out of Your presence due to my weakness and poverty. I do not know how to behave and often find myself too weak to do the good things I want. Provide me with the wedding garments that I need to be in Your Presence–give me the strength I need to fulfill my duties now and grant me the graces to become ever more pleasing to You, that You may desire my beauty and gather me to Yourself. Amen. 

    1. St. Augustine of Hippo. “Exposition on Psalm 45.” New Advent. https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1801045.htm ↩︎

  • Meditation on Psalm 43

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website

    11. Thou hast made us turn our back to our enemies: and they that hated us plundered for themselves. 12 Thou hast given us up like sheep to be eaten: thou hast scattered us among the nations. 13 Thou hast sold thy people for no price: and there was no reckoning in the exchange of them. 14 Thou hast made us a reproach to our neighbours, a scoff and derision to them that are round about us. 15 Thou hast made us a byword among the Gentiles: a shaking of the head among the people. 16 All the day long my shame is before me: and the confusion of my face hath covered me. 17 At the voice of him that reproacheth and detracteth me: at the face of the enemy and persecutor. And our heart hath not turned back: neither hast thou turned aside our steps from thy way. 20. For thou hast humbled us in the place of affliction: and the shadow of death hath covered us. 21 If we have forgotten the name of our God, and if we have spread forth our hands to a strange god: 22 Shall not God search out these things: for he knoweth the secrets of the heart. Because for thy sake we are killed all the day long: we are counted as sheep for the slaughter. 23 Arise, why sleepest thou, O Lord? arise, and cast us not off to the end. 24.Why turnest thou thy face away? and forgettest our want and our trouble? 25 For our soul is humbled down to the dust: our belly cleaveth to the earth. 26. Arise, O Lord, help us and redeem us for thy name’s sake.

    It is hard for me to relate to these feelings of desperation that David expresses to God. He says that all day his shame is before him, that “the shadow of death” covers him, and that his people are “counted as sheep for the slaughter”. It is very difficult to feel this persecution, since even when St. Augustine interprets it, it applies to the Church’s martyrs. I live in the midst of comforts and inalienable rights, with nobody to pursue me and put me to death. The only exception, however, is the devil. Yet, I feel silly looking for “the devil” as the cause of any trouble, yet there can’t be another source for the temptations that enter my soul. Who else other than the devil and his minions are seeking to cause me to sin and forsake God in my actions?

    I do not desire to sin. I do not desire to offend God. Yet, I find myself at war within myself, as St. Paul said, doing that which I don’t want; and not doing that which I do want to do. I want to kneel, pray and meditate yet am plagued with a million different distractions. I want to greet my children joyfully and tenderly, yet I get bothered and irritated at their childishness and misbehavior. I want to move about my day with peace, trusting in God with even small matters, yet I constantly fall into anxious thoughts, troubled with any decision. I end the day, exhausted and often ashamed– feeling that I failed in most or all my resolutions and that I can’t face God.

    What am I supposed to present Him with? What am I supposed to show Him what I did with the graces that He gave me? I can take advantage of this sorrow. Instead of granting a victory to the devil, by succumbing to my shame, I will offer it to God. I can recognize how my soul “is humbled down to the dust”, as David says, and can plead to God to help me rise above my weaknesses. I can trust that He will do so not for my sake, since there is nothing inherently good about me, but for His sake and glory. He created me for Him, so for that end, I will pray. I will not give in to the shame and humiliation of my failures in my resolutions, but will choose to trust in the mercy of God. I will see myself as the tax collector, beating his chest and accusing himself. 

    God, do not abandon me to my enemies who desire to see me fall in temptation and submit to despair over my weakness. Rather, give me the grace to persevere and embrace my weakness–for your sake.