“A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance…
All the days of the afflicted are evil, but a cheerful heart has a continuous feast.” (Proverbs 15:13 & 151)
I am my own cause for sorrow. I steal away the peace and joy that my heart could feast on. The moment I set my will and my desires on plans–on imaginary scenarios of how things will work out–I introduce opportunities for disappointment, bitterness, and anger. I do not have one second guaranteed to me and yet, I allow myself to dream and hope for things that may never be. Even if my hope is small–like a quick, easy phone call to my mortgage or a working fridge–I become anxious and distressed when those plans don’t work out.
My solution is to abandon all desires and hopes for the future–MY desires.
The only secure thing for me is to rely on God with my whole strength. I will take every moment of my day and seize it with all my mind. I will refuse to allow my imagination or heart to wander. I do not deserve anything. Not one blessing. Not one compliment. Not one second of health or ease. God grants it all to me to begin with and He always provides us with what we need when we need it.
“You care for the earth, give it water,
you fill it with riches.
Your river in heaven brims over to provide its grain.
And thus you provide for the earth.” (Psalm 65:102)
Christ guarantees that the Lord knows our needs and provides for them always. Since He is our good Father and knows all things, then there is nothing left for me to fear. Of course, I have a duty to plan prudently, but it must also be done with simplicity and calmness. Other than that, I have no control over my life. I refuse to continue wasting away the gift of time God has given to me while also insulting Him with my distrust in His care.
My God, I trust You do love me and watch over me all the day long. I resolve to abandon myself to Your care and I refuse to allow myself to form any more desires or plans that entertain the illusion of my control. There is no need for me to wring my hands over how my day plays out. I will simply live each moment according to Your will. I will imitate Christ in all circumstances and will keep my heart cheerful always. Help me to only need You and depend on You. Give me the courage to forget myself. Amen.
St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me. St. Dominic, pray for me.
LPC Meditations 