Sharing the fruits of contemplation and study for the glory of God


Tag: christianity

  • Meditating on Death to View Temptations as an Opportunity for Growth in Holiness

    God permits our temptations so that through resisting them, we may grow in virtue. If I forget this, I become discouraged and may despair at the many repulsive and shameful temptations I find within myself and see this as a form of defeat. Yet, these are precious opportunities to show God I desire to remain faithful to Him by choosing to reject them or indulging in them.

    According to her spiritual director, St Catherine went through a great trial where she was constantly assaulted by temptations of demons. She could find no rest within herself. This was a constant battle and turmoil, since she had to spend every second rejecting and repelling these repulsive images and desires within herself. Instead of choosing to be relieved of these sufferings, St. Catherine insisted that she would remain subject to them until God willed so. When a demon tempted her to despair and threatened that they would not leave her alone until she submitted, she responded:

    “I have chosen sufferings for my consolation; not only will it not be difficult for me, but even delightful to undergo similar afflictions and even greater ones, for the love of my Jesus, and as long as his majesty wills.” (Pg. 53; The Life of St. Catherine of Sienna; Bl. Raymundo of Capua)

    This experience of such great a saint shows that temptations are in themselves a form of suffering. I don’t have to necessarily wait for some outside source of trial, like a persecution, or a bodily trial like an illness. Rather, my desire to eliminate vices and avoid sin is what causes temptations to be painful to me, and I should treat them like St. Catherine did: with fortitude, trust in God, and a joy in suffering for Christ.

    So when I feel the shame in being tempted to anger, impatience, disgust, or frustration in my day to day life as a wife and mother, then I should see these temptations as the very means by which I overcome vice and please God. I can recognize my sorrow at feelings these temptations as proof I don’t want them and that I desire to do good. I can take advantage of these trials to grow in perfection and holiness, since I know God will help me because he desires me to do so. I can look at my past and see how I have been able to overcome, with God’s grace, previous temptations and vices. I can reflect and see how God has wonderfully arranged my life to help me in eliminating vices and advancing in my spiritual life. Why, then, would current trials be any different? They are just more proof that God is continuing to work within me. If I, instead, neglect to view these trials as God’s work, I risk wasting precious time to prepare myself for a peaceful death:

    “Oh, how clearly, when the hour of death arrives, do the truths of faith make themselves felt, only to add greater torment to that dying man who has lived a wicked life, and particularly if he is one who has been consecrated to God, and so has had much opportunity of serving Him, much time, many good examples, and much inspiration.” (Pg. 49; Preparation for Death; St. Alphonsus Liguori)

    I do not wish to one day regret my resistance and wailing over my sufferings. I do not wish to grieve over wasted opportunities and time. Rather, I want to praise God and thank Him for allowing me to persevere and use every second to my advantage. Let me take the time I have now, then, to view my life rightly and change my perspective so that I welcome the difficulties of my vocation. I will no longer see them as obstacles but the very means by which I will grow in perfection and serve God as He deserves–with joy, humility, and abandonment.

    May God bless me in my desires to embrace suffering for His sake and remain faithful to His graces and inspirations. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Despair at the Last Hour

    From Preparation for Death by St. Alphonsus Liguori;

    Consideration VI: Death of the Sinner–Second Point

    “S. Bernard says, that that heart which has been so obstinate in sin during life, will use every means to free itself when dying from
    this state of condemnation, but will be unable to do so ; and
    being oppressed with its own wickedness, will pass from life in
    this state.”

    If our habits throughout life will remain even during the moments of our death, then I have all the more reason to focus on the manner in which I respond to sufferings now. I find that when things begin to go wrong for me–my plans are failing, I’m feeling overstimulated, the children don’t listen, my head is throbbing more intensely, and so on–I begin to mope and to focus on my failures. I begin to look for pity or comfort from others and this makes me wallow more intensely, allowing it to show on my face and tone. I am unable to think of anything positive, prayer is hard for me, and my mind seems to be a mess, incapable of producing anything helpful or clear to bring me out of my situation.

    If this is my habit when things go slightly wrong now while I am healthy, then how much worse will my state of mind be when I am on the brink of death!

    Do I expect to imitate those movie scenes where I calmly and peacefully accept the news that I am dying? Do I expect to smile and comfort my family when my body while be aching, laid on a hospital bed connected by all sorts of wires and surrounded by bright lights and machines? Will I even be aware enough of what is happening or will I instead be under a feverish spell that doesn’t let me focus on what is standing in front of me? What if my children can’t make it on time to see me nor the priest to give me my last rite? Won’t this just send me into a further downward spiral of negative thoughts and self-pitying emotions?

    No, I don’t want to risk ending my life on such a note. Instead, I will resolve to take every opportunity of misfortune, discomfort, pains, or trouble sent my way to “train” myself in responding as I ought. I will force a smile or pray to God for mercy or offer a Hail Mary or carefully monitor my tone so it doesn’t betray any feeling of trial within me. I will picture Saint Therese of Lisieux and how she bore all her little trials with patience and joy, taking care to make sure no one knew what she was experiencing. I want to develop the habit of turning to God during moments of suffering and seeking His help alone, rather than those around me. I want Him to be my sole source of comfort and consolation. During those moments of difficulty, then, I will pray with David:

    “Reach out your hand from on high;

    deliver me from the many waters;

    rescue me from the hands of foreign foes. (Psalm 144:7; USCCB)

    In the midst of those waters of passion and temptation, I will wait for God’s hand to come and save me, as Christ did Peter. I will trust that He will come to my help and protect me against the foes–the devil and his minions–who are always seeking to bring me to sin. They will do so even more intensely during the time of death, so if I want any chance at overcoming their assaults at that most crucial moment, I must begin trying right now.

    My Lord, I offer You these intentions for today. Please bless them and help me put them into practice all the days of my life but most especially during my last hour. I ask this of You in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

    Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me.

  • Desiring and Praying to Grow in Fear of the Lord

    “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Proverbs 9:10; USCCB)

    I need to learn to fear the Lord. The great patriarchs of the Old Testament all trembled in fear at the Lord’s Presence in the form of a cloud and fire. Christ’s apostles threw themselves to the floor when they beheld His true glory during His transfiguration. Many great saints speak of their own nothingness and sinfulness, in contrast with God’s perfection and beauty. Yet, I hold none of this fear in my own soul and barely feel remorse for my sins. Many times I end the day without really feeling that I have done anything wrong and have to force myself to examine my conscience and only then I realize my bad habits and many faults. Even then, I need God’s help to open my eyes and reveal to me the many hidden sins and vices I carry.

    How can I ever appreciate and love the sacrifice of Christ if I do not know what He has saved me from?

    How can I weep for gratitude at the fact my soul has been salvaged from eternal flames without believing deeply that I have deserved to be there from the moment I first sinned?

    How can I kiss Christ’s feet like Magdalene did or cling to His cross if I do not fear the exacting judgement of God–of how every fault and failure desrves punishment?

    My good and loving God, You are so patient with me. You love me when I am unlovable, when I am selfish. How much do I despise and feel disgusted at the actions of others when they offend or insult me? Even when others behave unintentionally annoying, I am repulsed and don’t want to help them but rather want to view myself as better than them. Yet, You constantly behold my sins and my slowness to obey–my sluggishness in prayer, my impatience with my children, my distrust in Your protection, my harshness towards others, my pridefulness, and so many more displeasing thoughts, decisions, and habits that I have. You see all these things within me and yet You let me live and encourage me to grow by giving me consolations, time, and advice through others. Forgive me for failing You so much and so often. I ask You fervently, through the merits of Christ and the intercessions of Blessed Mary, that You may give me an unforgettable fear of Your Divine and perfect judgement. Let me realize, as much as I am able to handle, how much I deserve to burn in hell for offending You, and if I am not prepared for such a fear, then I ask that You strengthen me that I may bear that terrifying truth.

    Yes, I am afraid to pray for such a fear, but I see that this fear is what led so many good souls to grow in perfection and allowed them to endure joyfully the many sufferings You sent their way. This fear is what led them to forget themselves, to love others fervently, and to seek all opportunities to serve You and repay You for their many offenses. This fear led them to ignore insults, to proclaim You without regard of what may happen to them or how they may suffer as a result. I want to serve you with the same pure love as they did, but I cannot do so if I continue to treat myself so delicately and excuse every sin I commit. I would be insane to ask for such a thing if it weren’t for the sacrifice of my Lord Jesus Christ, which keeps me from despair, and I am even more encouraged knowing that You are eager to love and console those who fear You:

    “He takes no delight in the strength of horses,

    no pleasure in the runner’s stride.

    Rather the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him,

    those who put their hope in his mercy. (Psalm 147:10-11; USCCB)”

    Having confidence, then, in Your mercy, I will ask for this grace–to know my sinfulness and fear Your judgement. I ask this not for myself, but for Your glory. I ask this so my prayers may be perfected and purged from all forms of self-love. I ask this so I may become bold like the saints in living out Your commands and proclaim Your Word in speech and action. I ask this so I can fulfill the purpose for which You created me and so that Christ’s sacrifice for me will not be in vain.

    St. Teresa of Avila, pray for me. St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Stings of a Guilty Conscience

    From Preparation for Death by St. Alphonsus Liguori; Consideration VI: The Death of the Sinner; First Point

    “…they shall seek peace, but what peace can a soul find which is laden with sin, which bites it like so many vipers?”

    If I have trouble rejecting a sin and need a good reason to turn away in the midst of being tempted, picturing these stings of conscience seems appropriate. Usually a temptation promises a feeling of satisfaction or pleasure, such as wanting to shout, complain, or look visibly displeased when angry. This desire to behave wrongly (instead of reasonably or virtuously) is what needs to be fought against, so when I find myself on the brink of sinning, I can picture the sting of conscience I will feel after the act has been committed. I can picture my shame, the displeasure God will look on me with, and the punishment incurred because of that disobedience. If I want to keep my conscience at peace and without these stings, then I should keep them in mind all day. If I want to die peacefully, without remorse and without risking being overwhelmed by despair for my actions and impending death, then I should use these stings to my advantage.

    “The intelligence that the sinner has just received, that he is dying, the thought that he must bid farewell to everything in this world, the stings of a troubled conscience, the time that is for ever lost, the time that he is now in want of, the severity of the Divine Judge, the miserable eternity which awaits all sinner–the thought of all these things will come up on him in terrible confusion, which will greatly trouble his mind…”

    I wish I was able to reject these temptations out of a pure love for God and a dread of ever offending Him, who has been so good to me. However, I am not so selfless that I can do it for God’s sake alone, although I will always pray that I can reach that point where I do all things for Him and only Him. Until then, I will be a bit more practical and fight desire with desire. Today, I will fight my desire to submit to temptations of annoyance, distraction, wastefulness, impulsiveness and any other urges to act unreasonably or sinfully, with a desire to avoid the stings of a guilty conscience. I will fight those temptations with a desire of a happy death, where I can say to God “I did all I could, forgive me for my weaknesses”. As long as I keep my will towards God, I have confidence that He will forgive me and that Christ’s sacred wounds will wash away the guilt I have incurred.

    My Lord, thank you for being patient with me up to this moment. Bless my desires to avoid all manners of sin and help me prepare today for battle against the devil and his assaults. He is indeed a prowling lion, waiting to devour me (1 Peter 5:8), so please strengthen me in these resolutions and let them not be mere words. Instead, let them bear fruit in my actions so I can use all opportunities today to reject sin and give you glory.

    St. Teresa of Avila, pray for me. St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me. St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for me.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Passions that Lead to Sin

    From St Alphonsus Liguori’s Preparation for Death; Consideration IV: The Certainty of Death; First Point

    “Death for me, perhaps, now stands nigh at hand. I should like to prepare myself for that great moment in which my everlasting happiness, or unhappiness depends.”

    God is under no obligation to continue forgiving me for my sins. If I were to die immediately after committing a grave sin, there is no reason for Him to give me time to repent and confess that sin. He would be perfectly just to allow my death and permit my eternal separation from Him. Just as a husband who repeatedly commits adultery is not entitled to forgiveness from his offended wife, neither am I entitled to that forgiveness from God.

    I do not know the instance I will die, so I must be extremely cautious of anything that will cause this eternal separation. I know that it is the moments of passion that often lead me to sin. I must, therefore, avoid as much passion as possible, whether the emotions are “positive”, like excitement and love, or “negative”, like annoyance and self-pity.

    Of course, prudence is always necessary, and there are appropriate times for passions. However, most of the time, the passions are results from disordered or misplaced thoughts and desires: an annoyed outburst from feeling hungry or suffering from a headache; a sulking face from a desire to receive pity from a difficult day; unrestrained speech or rambling from uncontrolled excitement to meet a long time friend.

    These may not be mortal sins, but I desire to avoid all sin, regardless of how small. I want to take practical steps to do this, so today I will focus on identifying the rising of passions within me and putting all my efforts towards controlling them:

    • In response to anger or frustration from my household duties, I will take a moment to breathe and pray to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
    • In response to self-pity, I will think of Christ carrying His cross, abandoned by all friends, and mocked at in midst of His agonies.
    • In response to over-excitement, I will think of my incoming death and how all those things I desire to have and enjoy will be taken from me, and so I should only seek to desire God who is my true Source of happiness.
    • In response to fear or anxiety of the future, I will pray as Christ did during His agony in the garden by saying “Your will be done”, or as Jeanne-Pierre de Caussade writes in Abandoment to Divine Providence: “What You will, Lord, I will”.

    Christ, have mercy on me and be patient with me. Let me never again sin against You. I hope and trust You will help me persevere, even if I am tempted to despair that I will not persevere, considering the many times I have failed you before. I trust in Your mercy and love, since You did, after all, die on the cross for me and offer Yourself up for my salvation.

    St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me. Blessed Mother Mary, intercede for me and pray for my salvation. Amen.

  • Resolutions for Mindfulness in Prayer and Work

    When there are a thousand tasks filling my head, tempting me to anxiety and worry, I will breathe and focus on my current duty. I will abandon them all to God and ask that His Divine Will be done, rather than mine. When I trust in Him and in His Providence, then I can rest assured that it will all be handled:

    Since he clings to me in love, I will free him;

    protect him for he knows my name.

    When he calls I shall answer: “I am with you.”

    I will save him in distress and give him glory.” (Psalm 91:14; Night Prayer Divine Office)

    What will I focus on today then? What will my resolutions be for today that I can put my entire energy on, especially in the moments of difficulty and frustration?

    I will complete every task, no matter how menial, with the most devotion, love, and focus. I will pick up clothing from the floor and place it gently in its proper place, keeping my eyes fixed on where I plan to put it. I will wipe every nook and groove of the dishes I wash, paying attention to the movement of my hands and the force I place on the sponge with my fingers. I will move my mouth freely to enunciate every syllable during my prayers, taking special care not to rush or speak with mindlessness. I will offer up all these small works and envision how by using my body in fulfilling my duties, I am praising God and being the faithful servant I was made to be.

    I will return to this mindfulness whenever I catch myself in anxious thoughts and imaginations or if I feel pressured to hurry because of a screaming child or sibling argument in the background. That will simply become my next task, so I can with the same calmness, pause my current activity and turn to address the problem.

    I will not allow myself to get carried away with frustration, annoyance, and anger at any chaos happening around me. I will picture myself like Peter and his fellow apostles in the storm, but will keep my eyes on Christ. I will bless the Lord for those opportunities and will soften my face, my body, and my heart when I am tempted to self-pity and become hardened with irritation at my situation.

    I will be careful not to mix up my personal preferences with my real duties to educate and discipline my children. I will accept that they are full of folly and need my patience and tenderness to help them overcome this stage. I will throw myself to the mercy of God because it is only then that He will help me–not when I lean on my own strength.

    Mother of Good Counsel, pray for me. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death to Produce Fruit Pleasing to God

    From St. Alphonsus’ Preparation for Death, available on Saints’ Books

    Consideration 1, Third Point: Description of one who has Departed this Life

    “My brother, in this description of death, thou seest thyself, and that, which one day thou wilt be, ” Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” Reflect, for in a few years, nay, perhaps in a few months, and even days, thou wilt become a mass of corruption and worms.”

    The certainty of death doesn’t seem so threatening initially, especially because I am still so young. Death feels far away and seems it will happen in my old age, when my hair is white, my skin wrinkly, and my body bent over. I picture myself resting on a bed, surrounded by family and a priest, ready to offer me my last sacraments.

    But I have absolutely no guarantee of this ideal scenario. I know that family, friends, and acquaintances have died suddenly and unexpectedly. One day, they were healthy and with the expectation of living for decades more, and the next they were in the hospital from a sudden attack of a hidden infirmity that took their life in a matter of hours. I see it on the news all the time as well. I hear of people caught in the middle of a shooting or a crash on the freeway or an accident at work–people who are often just as young as I am.

    Knowing this uncertainty, I should be careful not to wave off my approaching death and assume I will have time to make amends with God. I should treat each day as if it will be the last chance I have to show my repentance to God and use each moment to turn my desires back to Him, making sure my every intention is to obey and abandon my plans to His will.

    St. Alphonsus continues:

    “But perhaps, my brother, thou mightst with reason fear, lest thou shouldst be like that barren fig-tree, concerning which our blessed Lord said, ” Behold these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig-tree, and find none.” (S. Luke xiii.- 7.) Take care, remarks S. Bernard, for the Lord does not require flowers only, but seeks for fruit also ; that is to say, not only good desires and resolutions, but also good works. Therefore, take care to make good use of the time which God in His mercy grants to you ; do not wait until ” time shall be no longer” to desire to do good when it shall be said unto you : ” Time shall be no longer, depart.”

    Indeed, I should take care and aim for real results in my work because God doesn’t just look for good feelings and sentiments. He looks for actual change in my behavior, thoughts, and decisions. He looks for real results and perseverance in my resolutions, not just good wishes and imaginations. It is scary to think that I could go my whole life imagining that I am saved when all I have had are some pleasant emotions and motivation but none of the effects of those graces. How terrifying to be told “depart” by the God whom I thought I was serving this whole time.

    Oh my Lord, do not let me fall into this illusion. Do not let me become self-satisfied and complacent in my spiritual growth. Continue to reveal my weaknesses to me. Show me where I am still not producing fruits or where I am producing the bad fruits that you despise. I desire for You to take pleasure in the fruits I do produce, but I cannot do this of my own accord. I am too ignorant to know what I ought to do and even if I do know, I am often too weak to act as I ought.

    I ask that You help me this day to see your commands in all I do and to see my vocation as a wife, as a mother to young children, and as a homemaker as the means by which I fulfill those commands. Even as I tend to basic tasks–washing dishes, answering emails, and so on–or interact with others in my day–on my drives, my appointments, and so on–I wish to use these opportunities as ways to be pleasant and calm, never anxious about how things are to turn out or how they may go wrong. Help me reject all thoughts of bitterness, anger, frustration, distraction, and anything else that might displease You in the slightest. Help me embrace all the sufferings You send my way today and treat every second as if it might be my last, so when it is finally time, I may be prepared to face You.

    St. Dominic, pray for me. Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Temptation and Vain Thoughts

    From St. Alphonsus’ Preparation for Death, available on Saints’ Books

    Consideration 1, Second Point: Further descriptions of one who has departed this life

    “In that corruption many worms are generated, which feed upon the flesh. The rats come to feast upon the body, some on the outside, others entering into the mouth and bowels. The cheeks, the lips, and the hair fall in pieces ; the ribs are the first to become bare of flesh, then the arms and the legs…

    …in the end, nothing remains of that body but a fetid skeleton, which, in course of time, is divided, the bones being separated,
    and the head falling from the body…

    …Behold, then, what man is a little dust upon a threshing-floor, which is carried away by the wind.”

    Do I really want to spend 10 minutes examining my face for imperfections like scars, pimples, and unwanted facial hair when that same skin will rot away? Do I really want to eat impulsively and commit sins of gluttony and intemperance when that very mouth and throat will be eaten away itself? Do I want to compare my body to others, judging and scorning others or submitting to envy at the beauty of others when we will all be the same in the end–dry bones and eventually dust? Do I want to offend my God in all these ways and more because of passions of the flesh–because I believe fulfilling these impulsive desires will bring some sort of satisfaction to me when in reality, they can become the cause of my damnation?

    How many times do these thoughts distract me from my real duties? How many times am I distracted from prayer then become discouraged or from giving attention to my children then become angry at the chaos that follows from that distraction? I should reject these illusions early, before I have allowed them to steal away my energy and focus on the tasks I am called to do. Perhaps all my other problems will be addressed if I keep myself on track with this meditation–always remembering what I will end up like, as well as those around me. Perhaps these images of decay and bodily corruption will reveal the emptiness of my temptations and will allow me to dismiss them more easily. How can I continue to stress about the furniture layout of my living room or about finding the best apartment if I know I might be carried out of it, never to see it again? Or about my clothes, knowing they will be given away or donated after my death? Truly, the anxieties of this world disappear at the knowledge that they are not permanent, but because of my weakness and shallow-mindedness, I quickly forget this truth and return to the same anxieties.

    My God, help me to never forget the truth of my short life. Keep my death in mind so I can keep my focus on what truly matters–Your perfect will and adorable commands. Help me be, instead, like David and pray:

    “Lord, let me know my end, the number of my days,

    that I may learn how frail I am.” (Psalm 39:5, USCCB)

  • Meditation on Psalm 119: Recognition of my own ignorance and weakness

    131 I sigh with open mouth,

    yearning for your commandments.

    My heart aches with frustration at my inability to properly meditate on God’s word or will. It feels that my mind is blocked and I can’t make sense of any of the thoughts in my mind. All I have is a burning desire to know what God wants me to do and how I should behave today. I am afraid of starting my day because I don’t want to face the same temptations and repeat the same mistakes I have before.

    How can I be entrusted with the education of my own children if I seem to be so ignorant and incapable? All I can think of is how many times before I have resolved to live a simple, prayerful day, where I am detached from material goods and show nothing but patience and tenderness towards my family. Yet I feel like all I find within myself is vexation, gluttony, bitterness, and distraction.

    How can I approach the Lord with so much insult and ingratitude?

    143 Though distress and anguish come upon me,

    your commandments are my delight.

    144 Your testimonies are forever righteous;

    give me understanding that I may live.

    145 I call with all my heart, O LORD;

    answer me that I may keep your statutes.

    146 I call to you to save me

    that I may observe your testimonies.

    I must comfort my soul with the hope that God gives. I must have confidence in God’s mercy. I must not allow my sorrow and tears at my own failures to carry me so far that I despair, as Judas did. Peter cried bitter tears at his betrayal of Christ, yet also cried out that he loved Christ more than any of the other apostles (John 21:15-17).

    God knows I desire to do His will. He knows I desire to live out every second of my day faithfully. He knows my ignorance and weakness. It’s often me that forgets this and begins to rely on my own judgement. This sorrow at my inability to reason or fulfill my resolutions is my reminder of this fact. I was always this incapable but God had carried me through my weakness, and I gave credit to myself instead. I didn’t stop to thank Him for the graces He gave me but rather puffed myself up with the illusion that it was my intelligence, my virtues, and my work all along. I wanted the praise when it didn’t belong to me.

    75 I know, LORD, that your judgments are righteous;

    though you afflict me, you are faithful.

    76 May your mercy comfort me

    in accord with your promise to your servant.

    77 Show me compassion that I may live,

    for your law is my delight.

    I accept, Lord, my pain and ask that you take pity on me so that I can live and not fall into sin. I accept the humiliation and recognize it as your merciful work, so that I may give praise to You, who is entitled to it. I ask that although I feel completely incapable at the moment, that You do not abandon me but rather remain with me today. As I begin taking on my duties, I ask that you continue to work through me so I can complete all my tasks in their proper time, without losing my peace or my faith in You. Though I feel like I can’t form even one coherent thought or envision myself completing one resolution, I will move forward with faith and a will to abandon myself to You and Your help. I trust you will not leave me to my own devices. Be my guide and my comfort.

    Glory be to You forever. Amen.

  • Meditation on Psalm 113: Pleading for Help in Overcoming Weakness and Not Sinking

    This meditation is based on the Douay-Rheims Bible translation, accessible on the Classical Liberal Arts Academy‘s website.

    Note, the numbering system is slightly different than more modern translations like the NABRE. This chapter is split into two: ch. 113 pt.1, which is ch. 114 in the NABRE and ch. 113 pt.2 which is ch. 115 in the NABRE.

    “Not to us, O Lord, not to us; but to thy name give glory.” (ch. 113 pt.2 verse 1)

    There is no reason for you to help me, Lord, other than Your own glory. You created me for Your glory. You created my children for Your glory. You created us as a family to sacrifice to each other, forgive one another and in this way show Your presence in our souls–in our willingness to suffer patiently and endure one another’s faults.

    “He hath blessed all that fear the Lord, both little and great.” (c. 113 pt.2 verse 13)

    I am one of these little ones. I am unable to keep myself from sinning. The moment I take my eyes off of you and look down at my footsteps, to see where I should step and how, I immediately begin to waver. I have to quickly turn back to you to stabilize myself and get the courage to keep moving forward. I feel like St. Peter who only had the confidence to walk on the water without fear of sinking when He was looking at You, after being commanded to “come”. (Matthew 14:24-31)

    How many times have I failed You? How many times have I woken up, telling myself “Today! Today, I will not sin. Today, I will be patient, hold my tongue, and work joyfully without complaining.” Then at the end of the day, when I have failed my resolutions, I shamefully come back to You and ask for the strength to try again–to not allow the repeated failures to cause me to despair. Indeed, I would have given up long ago if it wasn’t You who commanded I come, I would have refused to approach You if You weren’t so merciful so as to bless even the little ones–those of us far from sainthood and full of failures in our resolutions to be better.

    “The dead shall not praise thee, O Lord: nor any of them that go down to hell. But we that live bless the Lord: from this time now and for ever.” (Ch. 13 pt. 2 verses 17-18)

    For Your glory, help me! I cannot fulfill my purpose in serving You and glorifying You for all eternity if I fall down into hell. So for Your cause, call me again today. In my moments of weakness, remind me You are there so I can regain my strength to keep walking in these unstable waters, where I feel as if at any moment my foot will sink in. Help me, as little as I am, so I can bless You through my actions and thoughts.

    Help me so I can serve my family today with unwavering calmness, with a permanent abandonment to Your will at every moment–never allowing myself to be carried off into anxious planning.

    Help me so I can forgive my children for their many faults, both little and big, and see my relationship to them through You, remembering that their little hearts are bound up in folly and will need help driving it away for years to come (Proverbs 22:15).

    Help me so I can embrace the humiliating fact of my weakness–the fact I will continue to suffer embarrassing temptations my whole life–so that I may not despair and may instead turn to You, crediting You for my ability to overcome. I want to say in those moments: “I am little, after all, this is normal. God will bless me because I fear Him.” On the other hand, when I feel puffed up in pride at my accomplishments, I want to turn around and say “Give glory not to me, Lord, not to me, but to You”.

    My God, please bless my desires from today and turn them into fruits that I can offer You all throughout the day. I cannot do this on my own, so please be my Help and come to save me.

    St. Dominic, pray for me. St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me. Blessed Mother Mary pray for me. Amen.