Sharing the fruits of contemplation and study for the glory of God


Tag: St Alphonsus Liguori

  • Meditating on Death to View Temptations as an Opportunity for Growth in Holiness

    God permits our temptations so that through resisting them, we may grow in virtue. If I forget this, I become discouraged and may despair at the many repulsive and shameful temptations I find within myself and see this as a form of defeat. Yet, these are precious opportunities to show God I desire to remain faithful to Him by choosing to reject them or indulging in them.

    According to her spiritual director, St Catherine went through a great trial where she was constantly assaulted by temptations of demons. She could find no rest within herself. This was a constant battle and turmoil, since she had to spend every second rejecting and repelling these repulsive images and desires within herself. Instead of choosing to be relieved of these sufferings, St. Catherine insisted that she would remain subject to them until God willed so. When a demon tempted her to despair and threatened that they would not leave her alone until she submitted, she responded:

    “I have chosen sufferings for my consolation; not only will it not be difficult for me, but even delightful to undergo similar afflictions and even greater ones, for the love of my Jesus, and as long as his majesty wills.” (Pg. 53; The Life of St. Catherine of Sienna; Bl. Raymundo of Capua)

    This experience of such great a saint shows that temptations are in themselves a form of suffering. I don’t have to necessarily wait for some outside source of trial, like a persecution, or a bodily trial like an illness. Rather, my desire to eliminate vices and avoid sin is what causes temptations to be painful to me, and I should treat them like St. Catherine did: with fortitude, trust in God, and a joy in suffering for Christ.

    So when I feel the shame in being tempted to anger, impatience, disgust, or frustration in my day to day life as a wife and mother, then I should see these temptations as the very means by which I overcome vice and please God. I can recognize my sorrow at feelings these temptations as proof I don’t want them and that I desire to do good. I can take advantage of these trials to grow in perfection and holiness, since I know God will help me because he desires me to do so. I can look at my past and see how I have been able to overcome, with God’s grace, previous temptations and vices. I can reflect and see how God has wonderfully arranged my life to help me in eliminating vices and advancing in my spiritual life. Why, then, would current trials be any different? They are just more proof that God is continuing to work within me. If I, instead, neglect to view these trials as God’s work, I risk wasting precious time to prepare myself for a peaceful death:

    “Oh, how clearly, when the hour of death arrives, do the truths of faith make themselves felt, only to add greater torment to that dying man who has lived a wicked life, and particularly if he is one who has been consecrated to God, and so has had much opportunity of serving Him, much time, many good examples, and much inspiration.” (Pg. 49; Preparation for Death; St. Alphonsus Liguori)

    I do not wish to one day regret my resistance and wailing over my sufferings. I do not wish to grieve over wasted opportunities and time. Rather, I want to praise God and thank Him for allowing me to persevere and use every second to my advantage. Let me take the time I have now, then, to view my life rightly and change my perspective so that I welcome the difficulties of my vocation. I will no longer see them as obstacles but the very means by which I will grow in perfection and serve God as He deserves–with joy, humility, and abandonment.

    May God bless me in my desires to embrace suffering for His sake and remain faithful to His graces and inspirations. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Despair at the Last Hour

    From Preparation for Death by St. Alphonsus Liguori;

    Consideration VI: Death of the Sinner–Second Point

    “S. Bernard says, that that heart which has been so obstinate in sin during life, will use every means to free itself when dying from
    this state of condemnation, but will be unable to do so ; and
    being oppressed with its own wickedness, will pass from life in
    this state.”

    If our habits throughout life will remain even during the moments of our death, then I have all the more reason to focus on the manner in which I respond to sufferings now. I find that when things begin to go wrong for me–my plans are failing, I’m feeling overstimulated, the children don’t listen, my head is throbbing more intensely, and so on–I begin to mope and to focus on my failures. I begin to look for pity or comfort from others and this makes me wallow more intensely, allowing it to show on my face and tone. I am unable to think of anything positive, prayer is hard for me, and my mind seems to be a mess, incapable of producing anything helpful or clear to bring me out of my situation.

    If this is my habit when things go slightly wrong now while I am healthy, then how much worse will my state of mind be when I am on the brink of death!

    Do I expect to imitate those movie scenes where I calmly and peacefully accept the news that I am dying? Do I expect to smile and comfort my family when my body while be aching, laid on a hospital bed connected by all sorts of wires and surrounded by bright lights and machines? Will I even be aware enough of what is happening or will I instead be under a feverish spell that doesn’t let me focus on what is standing in front of me? What if my children can’t make it on time to see me nor the priest to give me my last rite? Won’t this just send me into a further downward spiral of negative thoughts and self-pitying emotions?

    No, I don’t want to risk ending my life on such a note. Instead, I will resolve to take every opportunity of misfortune, discomfort, pains, or trouble sent my way to “train” myself in responding as I ought. I will force a smile or pray to God for mercy or offer a Hail Mary or carefully monitor my tone so it doesn’t betray any feeling of trial within me. I will picture Saint Therese of Lisieux and how she bore all her little trials with patience and joy, taking care to make sure no one knew what she was experiencing. I want to develop the habit of turning to God during moments of suffering and seeking His help alone, rather than those around me. I want Him to be my sole source of comfort and consolation. During those moments of difficulty, then, I will pray with David:

    “Reach out your hand from on high;

    deliver me from the many waters;

    rescue me from the hands of foreign foes. (Psalm 144:7; USCCB)

    In the midst of those waters of passion and temptation, I will wait for God’s hand to come and save me, as Christ did Peter. I will trust that He will come to my help and protect me against the foes–the devil and his minions–who are always seeking to bring me to sin. They will do so even more intensely during the time of death, so if I want any chance at overcoming their assaults at that most crucial moment, I must begin trying right now.

    My Lord, I offer You these intentions for today. Please bless them and help me put them into practice all the days of my life but most especially during my last hour. I ask this of You in the name of my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

    Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Stings of a Guilty Conscience

    From Preparation for Death by St. Alphonsus Liguori; Consideration VI: The Death of the Sinner; First Point

    “…they shall seek peace, but what peace can a soul find which is laden with sin, which bites it like so many vipers?”

    If I have trouble rejecting a sin and need a good reason to turn away in the midst of being tempted, picturing these stings of conscience seems appropriate. Usually a temptation promises a feeling of satisfaction or pleasure, such as wanting to shout, complain, or look visibly displeased when angry. This desire to behave wrongly (instead of reasonably or virtuously) is what needs to be fought against, so when I find myself on the brink of sinning, I can picture the sting of conscience I will feel after the act has been committed. I can picture my shame, the displeasure God will look on me with, and the punishment incurred because of that disobedience. If I want to keep my conscience at peace and without these stings, then I should keep them in mind all day. If I want to die peacefully, without remorse and without risking being overwhelmed by despair for my actions and impending death, then I should use these stings to my advantage.

    “The intelligence that the sinner has just received, that he is dying, the thought that he must bid farewell to everything in this world, the stings of a troubled conscience, the time that is for ever lost, the time that he is now in want of, the severity of the Divine Judge, the miserable eternity which awaits all sinner–the thought of all these things will come up on him in terrible confusion, which will greatly trouble his mind…”

    I wish I was able to reject these temptations out of a pure love for God and a dread of ever offending Him, who has been so good to me. However, I am not so selfless that I can do it for God’s sake alone, although I will always pray that I can reach that point where I do all things for Him and only Him. Until then, I will be a bit more practical and fight desire with desire. Today, I will fight my desire to submit to temptations of annoyance, distraction, wastefulness, impulsiveness and any other urges to act unreasonably or sinfully, with a desire to avoid the stings of a guilty conscience. I will fight those temptations with a desire of a happy death, where I can say to God “I did all I could, forgive me for my weaknesses”. As long as I keep my will towards God, I have confidence that He will forgive me and that Christ’s sacred wounds will wash away the guilt I have incurred.

    My Lord, thank you for being patient with me up to this moment. Bless my desires to avoid all manners of sin and help me prepare today for battle against the devil and his assaults. He is indeed a prowling lion, waiting to devour me (1 Peter 5:8), so please strengthen me in these resolutions and let them not be mere words. Instead, let them bear fruit in my actions so I can use all opportunities today to reject sin and give you glory.

    St. Teresa of Avila, pray for me. St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me. St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for me.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Passions that Lead to Sin

    From St Alphonsus Liguori’s Preparation for Death; Consideration IV: The Certainty of Death; First Point

    “Death for me, perhaps, now stands nigh at hand. I should like to prepare myself for that great moment in which my everlasting happiness, or unhappiness depends.”

    God is under no obligation to continue forgiving me for my sins. If I were to die immediately after committing a grave sin, there is no reason for Him to give me time to repent and confess that sin. He would be perfectly just to allow my death and permit my eternal separation from Him. Just as a husband who repeatedly commits adultery is not entitled to forgiveness from his offended wife, neither am I entitled to that forgiveness from God.

    I do not know the instance I will die, so I must be extremely cautious of anything that will cause this eternal separation. I know that it is the moments of passion that often lead me to sin. I must, therefore, avoid as much passion as possible, whether the emotions are “positive”, like excitement and love, or “negative”, like annoyance and self-pity.

    Of course, prudence is always necessary, and there are appropriate times for passions. However, most of the time, the passions are results from disordered or misplaced thoughts and desires: an annoyed outburst from feeling hungry or suffering from a headache; a sulking face from a desire to receive pity from a difficult day; unrestrained speech or rambling from uncontrolled excitement to meet a long time friend.

    These may not be mortal sins, but I desire to avoid all sin, regardless of how small. I want to take practical steps to do this, so today I will focus on identifying the rising of passions within me and putting all my efforts towards controlling them:

    • In response to anger or frustration from my household duties, I will take a moment to breathe and pray to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
    • In response to self-pity, I will think of Christ carrying His cross, abandoned by all friends, and mocked at in midst of His agonies.
    • In response to over-excitement, I will think of my incoming death and how all those things I desire to have and enjoy will be taken from me, and so I should only seek to desire God who is my true Source of happiness.
    • In response to fear or anxiety of the future, I will pray as Christ did during His agony in the garden by saying “Your will be done”, or as Jeanne-Pierre de Caussade writes in Abandoment to Divine Providence: “What You will, Lord, I will”.

    Christ, have mercy on me and be patient with me. Let me never again sin against You. I hope and trust You will help me persevere, even if I am tempted to despair that I will not persevere, considering the many times I have failed you before. I trust in Your mercy and love, since You did, after all, die on the cross for me and offer Yourself up for my salvation.

    St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for me. Blessed Mother Mary, intercede for me and pray for my salvation. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death to Produce Fruit Pleasing to God

    From St. Alphonsus’ Preparation for Death, available on Saints’ Books

    Consideration 1, Third Point: Description of one who has Departed this Life

    “My brother, in this description of death, thou seest thyself, and that, which one day thou wilt be, ” Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” Reflect, for in a few years, nay, perhaps in a few months, and even days, thou wilt become a mass of corruption and worms.”

    The certainty of death doesn’t seem so threatening initially, especially because I am still so young. Death feels far away and seems it will happen in my old age, when my hair is white, my skin wrinkly, and my body bent over. I picture myself resting on a bed, surrounded by family and a priest, ready to offer me my last sacraments.

    But I have absolutely no guarantee of this ideal scenario. I know that family, friends, and acquaintances have died suddenly and unexpectedly. One day, they were healthy and with the expectation of living for decades more, and the next they were in the hospital from a sudden attack of a hidden infirmity that took their life in a matter of hours. I see it on the news all the time as well. I hear of people caught in the middle of a shooting or a crash on the freeway or an accident at work–people who are often just as young as I am.

    Knowing this uncertainty, I should be careful not to wave off my approaching death and assume I will have time to make amends with God. I should treat each day as if it will be the last chance I have to show my repentance to God and use each moment to turn my desires back to Him, making sure my every intention is to obey and abandon my plans to His will.

    St. Alphonsus continues:

    “But perhaps, my brother, thou mightst with reason fear, lest thou shouldst be like that barren fig-tree, concerning which our blessed Lord said, ” Behold these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig-tree, and find none.” (S. Luke xiii.- 7.) Take care, remarks S. Bernard, for the Lord does not require flowers only, but seeks for fruit also ; that is to say, not only good desires and resolutions, but also good works. Therefore, take care to make good use of the time which God in His mercy grants to you ; do not wait until ” time shall be no longer” to desire to do good when it shall be said unto you : ” Time shall be no longer, depart.”

    Indeed, I should take care and aim for real results in my work because God doesn’t just look for good feelings and sentiments. He looks for actual change in my behavior, thoughts, and decisions. He looks for real results and perseverance in my resolutions, not just good wishes and imaginations. It is scary to think that I could go my whole life imagining that I am saved when all I have had are some pleasant emotions and motivation but none of the effects of those graces. How terrifying to be told “depart” by the God whom I thought I was serving this whole time.

    Oh my Lord, do not let me fall into this illusion. Do not let me become self-satisfied and complacent in my spiritual growth. Continue to reveal my weaknesses to me. Show me where I am still not producing fruits or where I am producing the bad fruits that you despise. I desire for You to take pleasure in the fruits I do produce, but I cannot do this of my own accord. I am too ignorant to know what I ought to do and even if I do know, I am often too weak to act as I ought.

    I ask that You help me this day to see your commands in all I do and to see my vocation as a wife, as a mother to young children, and as a homemaker as the means by which I fulfill those commands. Even as I tend to basic tasks–washing dishes, answering emails, and so on–or interact with others in my day–on my drives, my appointments, and so on–I wish to use these opportunities as ways to be pleasant and calm, never anxious about how things are to turn out or how they may go wrong. Help me reject all thoughts of bitterness, anger, frustration, distraction, and anything else that might displease You in the slightest. Help me embrace all the sufferings You send my way today and treat every second as if it might be my last, so when it is finally time, I may be prepared to face You.

    St. Dominic, pray for me. Blessed Mother Mary, pray for me. Amen.

  • Meditating on Death to Avoid Temptation and Vain Thoughts

    From St. Alphonsus’ Preparation for Death, available on Saints’ Books

    Consideration 1, Second Point: Further descriptions of one who has departed this life

    “In that corruption many worms are generated, which feed upon the flesh. The rats come to feast upon the body, some on the outside, others entering into the mouth and bowels. The cheeks, the lips, and the hair fall in pieces ; the ribs are the first to become bare of flesh, then the arms and the legs…

    …in the end, nothing remains of that body but a fetid skeleton, which, in course of time, is divided, the bones being separated,
    and the head falling from the body…

    …Behold, then, what man is a little dust upon a threshing-floor, which is carried away by the wind.”

    Do I really want to spend 10 minutes examining my face for imperfections like scars, pimples, and unwanted facial hair when that same skin will rot away? Do I really want to eat impulsively and commit sins of gluttony and intemperance when that very mouth and throat will be eaten away itself? Do I want to compare my body to others, judging and scorning others or submitting to envy at the beauty of others when we will all be the same in the end–dry bones and eventually dust? Do I want to offend my God in all these ways and more because of passions of the flesh–because I believe fulfilling these impulsive desires will bring some sort of satisfaction to me when in reality, they can become the cause of my damnation?

    How many times do these thoughts distract me from my real duties? How many times am I distracted from prayer then become discouraged or from giving attention to my children then become angry at the chaos that follows from that distraction? I should reject these illusions early, before I have allowed them to steal away my energy and focus on the tasks I am called to do. Perhaps all my other problems will be addressed if I keep myself on track with this meditation–always remembering what I will end up like, as well as those around me. Perhaps these images of decay and bodily corruption will reveal the emptiness of my temptations and will allow me to dismiss them more easily. How can I continue to stress about the furniture layout of my living room or about finding the best apartment if I know I might be carried out of it, never to see it again? Or about my clothes, knowing they will be given away or donated after my death? Truly, the anxieties of this world disappear at the knowledge that they are not permanent, but because of my weakness and shallow-mindedness, I quickly forget this truth and return to the same anxieties.

    My God, help me to never forget the truth of my short life. Keep my death in mind so I can keep my focus on what truly matters–Your perfect will and adorable commands. Help me be, instead, like David and pray:

    “Lord, let me know my end, the number of my days,

    that I may learn how frail I am.” (Psalm 39:5, USCCB)